Okay, so I know I’ve been flooding things out a bit heavily the last week or so, and I apologize for the deluge. I’m doing my best to keep things from getting too melancholy or negative. I would like to take this opportunity to clarify a few things though. First and foremost, I am not angry or bitter. I don’t hate her, I don’t fault her, I wish her no ill will, and I would hope that I can begin to do a better job of conveying that. I do still love her very deeply, and I would still go to the darkest pit of hell and trade my soul for hers, if it meant that she was given one more day to enjoy life. My conviction and commitment was not contingent on her being around, it transcends all things and binds tighter that any bond you can fathom. I still love her very deeply; some part of me will always be right where I’ve always been, right here waiting, with open arms and a happy smile for her to come to me. I don’t wish to paint her as a villain or a terrible person, she is not, and any indication I’ve given to the contrary is an error on my part. I wish her the best, the utmost happiness, and the highest fulfillment of her life. I do not begrudge her choice or her decision, I’m not happy about it, but in the end, if she didn’t want to be with me and I forced her into it, what kind of life would I have? I’d have spent the entirety of my existence with her struggling to just break even and appease her for having chosen me when her heart wanted to be elsewhere. I know this is brief but I should have something a bit more substantial later on. Stay tuned kids!
No need to justify anymore.. it's clear that you care about her and wish her well. Now, I wish YOU well and hope all is going better in your world. :)
ReplyDeleteNo worries for the shorter post either! Much easier for me to read in between work. lol. Glad to see you're in better spirits.